Monday, March 28, 2011


Let me start by saying that if you are in any way related to me... STOP READING.  I am going to write about some steamy stuff (I think) and I really don't need parents or siblings involved.  Or, if you are going to read this... I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT!

So, let's get into it shall we?  Let me start by saying how much I love the opposite sex.  Women are so freaking sexy it ridiculous.  The female body is fawking hawt!  I don't care if you're some blonde bombshell from the pages of Playboy, a librarian type, or even a punky hipster chick, you all RAWK!  Serious, nothing turns me on more than a woman who is confident in who she is and what she wants.

More importantly, how she wants it.  See?  Steamy.  I'm surious.  There is nothing finer than a woman how knows what she needs and isn't afraid to tell you.  In fact, I always welcome it.  Seriously, YOLD readers, whether you're a guy or a girl, you know what you like best.  There is nothing worse than when a woman decides to perform some BJ or HJ business, but then grabs hold like she's shifting gears in the classic arcade game Pole Position or latches on like a cheese grater.  When that happens, guys, you gotta chime in and help out.  Show or tell the lady what you need.  And ladies don't be offended if you do need said help.

Same goes for the guys.  Don't be afraid to ask or just encourage a woman to show what she likes.  I don't know how it is for most guys, but for me, I'm not happy unless she's happy.  I'm a selfless lover in that way.  Of course, I like to be taken care of, but part of that comes from watching her get taken care of... I feel so groovy talking about this (like touchy/feely therapist from 1976 who smokes grass).

I don't like to stop until she gets enough.  But the clock is always ticking for us guys because once we blow, we're done... the wind is let out of the sails.  This is why I am a big proponent of the make-out session which then leads to other things, and other things, and finally... THAT thing.  I feel my needs as a man can come last on the priority list (although simultaneously is also pretty amazing).  Women can go and go and go, so you gotta make sure she's getting something out of the experience before you poop out.

I think I've gotten good at being able to tell the legit pleasure from the phoning it in kind.  There is a moment I've seen a few times while in the heat of passion... a moment where I feel both myself and the woman I'm with are suddenly just dialed into what's happening.  Up until then there is a lot of lip smashing, touching, exploring, etc.... but there is that ultimate sense of fumbling around and trying to determine how far we're going to take it. Then, the moment happens.  When we both have given ourselves over to the sex that's occurring.  There is a facial expression I've seen on a couple women... to me, that must be the face of real pleasure.  It's this sort of hazed, glazed eye, focused demeanor that just says "let's do this!"  And men can make the same face to.  It's the face of "I'm no longer thinking about what I'm doing and I am now just doing it".

That's the moment you want.  There is a rhythm that's happening and you are just fawking in it!  It's awesome.

And just to put more icing on the sex cake.  Ladies, if you are going to attempt the hawt sexy talk (a la porn star dialogue) you best be confident with what you're saying to us.  I've heard dirty talk from girls who are just seeing if they can do it, but it's not very believable, because the girl herself doesn't even believe it... she's just trying to give you what she thinks you want.  I've heard women who dirty talk and know who to sell it... and I am here to say - BRAVO!!!

So, my dear YOLD readers - go forth and bone like you mean it.  I mean REALLY mean it!

Time for bed!


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