Well, either she decided to get back with an old boyfriend or I just didn't do it for her... whatever the case - another one bites the dust.
It's a shame too because what I thought was a promising beginning sure devolved into not so much.
But I will say this... and I don't say it as any form of judgment of the person. I hinted at it before, but now I feel I can discuss it.
Let me start by saying that I'm experiencing different kinds of interactions with members of the opposite sex and I'm leaving my mind open as far as my expectations go. So, while this one started off promising there were certain gut things I was allowing myself to ignore for the sake of trying something different. I mean, it's not like my gut on the first go round led me to success (although a 14 year marriage is a job well done).
So what was my gut telling me? It was telling me their was something missing. Yes, there was a connection happening, there was some good conversation, and a desire to spend time with one another. What was missing though was that spark you get when you first meet someone that you're into. I'm slightly afraid of that feeling because I think it's the type of feeling that can lead to irrational behavior and decision making (something I was thinking I might be too old for - but I'm not)... I was trying to be level headed and smart this time around... However, I think it's going to take a combination of both because what was lacking was the sense of urgency you feel when you really meet someone you like. And not that I didn't like this girl. I did... but I wasn't obsessed. Not that obsession is healthy either, but I think you know what I'm getting at.
There is something that should happen in the beginning stages when two people just want to be together. And want to talk. And want to make-out. And other things. I think we liked being together. And we liked talking. And we liked making out. But by "date" #4 there weren't other things - nor was there a pursuit to do "other things". This isn't a mean spirited entry nor am I angry. Yes, I'm confused as to how you go from communicating at the very least once a day to a sudden radio silence. And, I'm sorry, but when I finally received the text explaining her phone was off all weekend I just couldn't in good conscious indulge it. Even if it's the truth, my gut says otherwise and I'm going to go with my gut on this.
So bizarre. But I'm not going to make assumptions. I've been the radio cut off-er as well and when you're not feeling it, you move on. So, my guess is... she wasn't feeling it. And God bless her for knowing what she wants. Obviously the curious side of me always wants to know more, but I guess I just need to live with it. I can think of a few things, but there is no point in trying to guess.
So there is that.
What's on the horizon?... well -- you lucky readers are in for a treat. Yours truly is going on the road for work, so there is sure to be some stuff to report.
In the immortal words of Mr. Sheen -- DUH, WINNING!
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