The idea of meeting someone is starting to feel foreign to me. Not quite sure if that's the best description, but I'll try to elaborate briefly.
Now when I see a couple out and enjoying their evening together I can't quite understand it. I see them holding hands, or just enjoying each others company. It's nice to see, but I've lost sight of what makes something like that possible.
It also seems like a lot of the girls I meet have boyfriends. And NO, I don't think they're just telling me that to throw the "I'm not interested" wall up at me. I think it's that I'm genuinely attracted to "keepers" - the ones you'd take home to mama. That's my problem with Cath... she's got "keeper" potential... and in some ways I lucked out that she is potentially avail... one day... she's a tricky proposition... I know I've said it numerous times. It would seem that every text conversation, while fun and entertaining (and very mildly flirtatious), is initiated by me... I think it might be time to step back and see if she can initiate. There really isn't a reason for her not to... our last exchange was Tuesday night... I have not texted her since (with the exception of an "accidental" butt text that sent a blank text -- I don't even know if a blank text goes through).
From this point forward I am going to continue to NOT initiate a texting convo with Cath. Let's see if she reaches out at some point over the weekend shall we?**
**Please, Jesus, grant me the strength to not text and I will forever be your humble servant.***
*** Shhhh, don't tell him I'm Jewish.
Anyway, my point about not understanding how couples happen is quite a complicated emotion to try and explain. But all I can say is I see people out and about and being in relationships and I don't get it anymore. I have memories of being this way and I have moments where the sensation of that experience sort of washes over me before quickly high-tailing it out of here. Yes, YOLD fans, my life has indeed become a Barry Manilow song: "I've been up, down, trying to get the feeling again - all around - trying to get the feeling again..." FUCK IT!!! Let him tell you...