Friday, January 21, 2011

1/20/11

Keeping it quick today ... yesterday was a doozy of a post.

The idea of meeting someone is starting to feel foreign to me.  Not quite sure if that's the best description, but I'll try to elaborate briefly.

Now when I see a couple out and enjoying their evening together I can't quite understand it.  I see them holding hands, or just enjoying each others company.  It's nice to see, but I've lost sight of what makes something like that possible.

It also seems like a lot of the girls I meet have boyfriends.  And NO, I don't think they're just telling me that to throw the "I'm not interested" wall up at me.  I think it's that I'm genuinely attracted to "keepers" - the ones you'd take home to mama.  That's my problem with Cath... she's got "keeper" potential... and in some ways I lucked out that she is potentially avail... one day... she's a tricky proposition... I know I've said it numerous times.  It would seem that every text conversation, while fun and entertaining (and very mildly flirtatious), is initiated by me... I think it might be time to step back and see if she can initiate.  There really isn't a reason for her not to... our last exchange was Tuesday night... I have not texted her since (with the exception of an "accidental" butt text that sent a blank text -- I don't even know if a blank text goes through).

From this point forward I am going to continue to NOT initiate a texting convo with Cath.  Let's see if she reaches out at some point over the weekend shall we?**

**Please, Jesus, grant me the strength to not text and I will forever be your humble servant.***

*** Shhhh, don't tell him I'm Jewish.

Anyway, my point about not understanding how couples happen is quite a complicated emotion to try and explain.  But all I can say is I see people out and about and being in relationships and I don't get it anymore.  I have memories of being this way and I have moments where the sensation of that experience sort of washes over me before quickly high-tailing it out of here.  Yes, YOLD fans, my life has indeed become a Barry Manilow song: "I've been up, down, trying to get the feeling again - all around - trying to get the feeling again..."  FUCK IT!!! Let him tell you...


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