Wednesday, January 19, 2011

1/18/11

Slowly but surely I feel I'm messing things up with Cath.... maybe not - maybe I'm just paranoid.  We continue to do our text messaging dance.  She seems to find me very funny, which is always a good thing in my book.

I feel like humor goes a long way.

But still...

I can sense that weight she's got on her shoulders.  The weight of the old relationship - the one she hasn't let go of (and who knows if she will). 

I keep imagining that moment where she tells me she's not ready for something (that is, of course, if I should actually manage to have things progress).  I feel like she's pondering the question of whether or not she would go back to that relationship... and she may.  During one of our texting exchanges I mentioned that while "love" is "love", there is good love and bad love.  It's for her to determine if what she had was healthy or not.  It certainly isn't my place to make that assessment. I can most certainly see why someone would enter back into a relationship even if it wasn't a healthy dynamic.  It all comes down to how we're built and what feeds us.

All I can say is this... I know I'm not perfect... I have my issues (LORD KNOWS I HAVE MY ISSUES)... but based on what I've heard thus far (which isn't my business to share) I think I can offer Cath something more than what she had.  Granted that's based on really not knowing the full picture of what transpired in her last relationship and not really "knowing" her yet.  Christ!  I haven't even gone out with her.  This is purely based on a texting relationship... how silly is that?

This is soooo far from anything, I must sound like an idiot.  It's fun to think about though.  It so hard to meet someone you think is cool and that's the vibe I get, so I guess it starts making you think of what's possible... that's being hopeful I guess... and we can always use a bit of that in our lives.

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