Sunday, April 4, 2010

Michael Bay VS Darren Aronofsky

IF I DIE BEFORE I WAKE, I PRAY THE LORD MY SOUL TO TAKE ME OUT IN A BLAZE OF GLORY...
- 18 Century Children's Prayer with a little Bon Jovi... dig it!

Let me say this first and foremost... I am a father with two kids and hope to live a long healthy life and be here for them as long as possible. They're the best.

BUT...

When meditating on the subject of life and death recently I came to the conclusion that there are indeed two ways one could go out... the Summer Blockbuster way or the Independent Film way...

Exhibit A:



OK -- "Less Than Zero" may not the perfect example of an Indie death... however, it's what I could I find on YouTube to best illustrate my point... plus, I dig that Killers song.

Exhibit B:



Love him or hate him, Hudon's journey in Aliens leads to a badass departure from life... (feel free to jump ahead to 5:25 in the clip -- Gamer Over!)

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not going out and looking for trouble with aliens in order to fulfill this destiny - I am simply putting out there that I am not opposed to some heroics at some point which will take me beyond with some degree of dignity.

Perhaps watching my Mom wither away and die in a hospital bed has a lot to do with this. I sat and watched her become a shell of who she once was and when the end came it was awful... no point in going into detail... but simply put... no dignity... it was sad, it sucked, and I don't wish that experience on anyone.

I want to go out with Michael Biehn by my side -- with monster robots who can transform into vehicles attacking -- I want to go out John McClane style (although he IS invincible). Guns blazing, sacrificing my own life to save humanity, or a killer dance battle which ends with me pulling a neck breaking head spin that alters the course of dance history (don't ask, but I aint talking a "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?" death).

Given all that, I do need to make sure there is a moment to say what needs to be said to those I care about before the final curtain call... after all, what's a death scene without some incredible life altering dialogue... I want slow motion, explosions, and car chases -- not Philip Seymore Hoffman standing over me and chewing up scenery as I try and hold on to every last morsel of life.

I'd like to propose a new business venture... I think filmmakers like Michael Bay should make themselves available to direct death scenes on a "for hire" basis to the public. Think about it... your health starts turning South and it's going in the Paul Thomas Anderson death direction. First off, no one should see you detriorate... then when you die, your family holds a screening and get to see how you spent your final moments... and BOOM - Popcorn, Red Vines, some ice cold Soda and a badass ending.

So, who would I want to have direct my death scene? Hmmmmm....this won't come as a surprise but I would say Bay.... however, I wouldn't be opposed to something like Brian De Palma in "The Untouchables" or Michael Mann in "Heat" -- I do like the Scott Brothers as well... so there are really a lot to choose from...

I think I made my point.... explosions = good --- hospital bed = bad

And there you have it my friends.... till death do us part!

2 comments:

  1. Awesome post. I really dig this site. Just became a follower.

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  2. THANKS!!! More to come... hopefully... If I can think of something to say

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